"The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit." Psalm 34:18(KJV).
As a former foster child, overcoming fear of abandonment has been a constant struggle. Throughout my entire life the loss of relationships, or even the threat of loss, plagued my soul to no end. For this reason, I held back any and all emotional ties to people. Upon meeting me, people would say, "She's nice, but not friendly." While my face gave the socially appropriate smile, my spirit revealed the uneasiness of intimacy. I spent most of my adult life dodging friendships because I was afraid the person would walk away. The depths of my soul bore an ever present fear; I would say or do something to drive everyone away, and I would be left alone. So I avoided people and social situations; which of course caused an overwhelming sense of isolation. It became a never ending cycle; fear of abandonment led to little or no social interaction, which caused no friendships, because I had a fear of abandonment. Unfortunately my soul conceded defeat and I remained spiritually stagnant.
Thank God for Psalm 34:18, "The Lord is near to the broken hearted and saved those who are crushed in spirit."(NASB) This passage reminds me I am never alone, despite my broken heart and crushed spirit. I now know I don't need to mourn the painful events of my childhood; abuse, neglect, and abandonment. Rather, I can raise my head and praise God because he walks with me daily. Therefore, I have no reason to concern myself with fear of abandonment. I can never say or do anything to cause God to leave me because His love is unconditional. As 2 Timothy1 :7 states, "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear but of power, love, and of sound mind."(KJV). Fear contradicts God's plan of perfect love for us, "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casteth out fear because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love."(1John 4:18 KJV)
As a former foster child, overcoming fear of abandonment has been a constant struggle. Throughout my entire life the loss of relationships, or even the threat of loss, plagued my soul to no end. For this reason, I held back any and all emotional ties to people. Upon meeting me, people would say, "She's nice, but not friendly." While my face gave the socially appropriate smile, my spirit revealed the uneasiness of intimacy. I spent most of my adult life dodging friendships because I was afraid the person would walk away. The depths of my soul bore an ever present fear; I would say or do something to drive everyone away, and I would be left alone. So I avoided people and social situations; which of course caused an overwhelming sense of isolation. It became a never ending cycle; fear of abandonment led to little or no social interaction, which caused no friendships, because I had a fear of abandonment. Unfortunately my soul conceded defeat and I remained spiritually stagnant.
Thank God for Psalm 34:18, "The Lord is near to the broken hearted and saved those who are crushed in spirit."(NASB) This passage reminds me I am never alone, despite my broken heart and crushed spirit. I now know I don't need to mourn the painful events of my childhood; abuse, neglect, and abandonment. Rather, I can raise my head and praise God because he walks with me daily. Therefore, I have no reason to concern myself with fear of abandonment. I can never say or do anything to cause God to leave me because His love is unconditional. As 2 Timothy1 :7 states, "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear but of power, love, and of sound mind."(KJV). Fear contradicts God's plan of perfect love for us, "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casteth out fear because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love."(1John 4:18 KJV)
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